Dear mothers and young ladies,
Marriage And Relationship Advice
Marriage Relationship Advice
Pre Marriage Advice
Maybe this can help you too.
Coming back from work, and going straight to the bedroom, I overheard my wife teaching our now adult daughter about marriage while she was plaiting her hair in the sitting room. I heard her saying;
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1. My daughter, don’t cause a separation between your man and his siblings; it could be dangerous for you when they finally speak with one voice.
2. My daughter, I know that some of you girls don’t wish to marry a man whose mother is still alive, don’t ever think like that, if you do, well, I think your son’s wife- to-be should start wishing you’re dead now.
3. My daughter, listen to me, when I married your father, he was as tiny as his salary but I chose to grow with him and today, those cars out there are some of the results of what we started so little, together, and we’re proud looking at them.
4. My daughter, there is this thing i see happening in your time, some of you girls now get pregnant before the wedding day, well, it never happened in our time because no matter what, we never opened our laps before the wedding.
5. My daughter, well, yes, I once locked up the cloth of your father because I got to my limit of patience and that was the only thing I could do, but one thing I haven’t said was that we settled the issue that same day and that was the last time I tried that.
6. My daughter, look up there. That’s the wedding picture of your father and I, look at him smiling, I know you’ve seen it many times but what you did not know is that your father was angry before taking this picture, I hope you find a man whose anger doesn’t last till the next day.
7. My daughter, when your Father was riding a bicycle, I was always happy to hop on it and ride with him, not because I didn’t see those men in their little cars but because my eyes also saw those men trekking to their farms.
8. My daughter, if you and your husband eat a little food with love, you both would be satisfied. Times are not always the same; support him in every phase he’s passing through.
9. My daughter, don’t ever close your laps to your husband in bed , the day he paid your dowry was the day you lost your will to do so, don’t be so, don’t be stiff and try to satisfy him even if you were angry with him.
10. My daughter, a man would respect you and be more proud of you if you’re learned and not totally dependent on him. Strive to make your own money and while you’re at it, be humble.
11. My daughter, under the cocoa tree that I did meet with your Father was open and good enough for our discussions, yes; it was open and good enough if you understand what I mean.
12. My daughter, in our time, we had sexy legs and firm bosoms to show our men, in fact, we had the finest ones, yet, when we dress, we cover those parts of our body, not because we were not civilized as you people would call it, but because we know that the eyes of men are hungry, many of them would only come, touch and go their way.
13. My daughter, there is this thing you girls now practice, they say it’s feminism. Well, you can prove to be equal to a man in the society but please, not in your marriage because at my old age, I don’t want to start counting your husbands.
14. My daughter, marriage is not a Rehabilitation Center, if he’s not good enough for you before marriage, nothing he does would be good enough after marriage.
15. My daughter, you can see I still wear my night gown, yes, because to my husband; your father, I still want to look sexy. So, take good care of your body, look good for your man and don’t look like a grandma after giving birth.
16. My daughter, I’m your mother and still, I’m not interested in you coming to me always if anything goes wrong with your husband. Though nowadays I see some mothers controlling the homes of their sons and daughters, I would only say; shame on them!
17. My daughter, for you to have a peaceful home and well-trained children, have one voice with your husband, join him to say NO when he’s saying NO before the kids but later when you both are alone, you can plead with him for a YES, if not, the children will see a loophole to misbehave, either to you or their father.
18. My daughter, if you choose to live together with a man that you’re yet to be married to , and you are complaining that he hasn’t proposed to you, oh, he already did. Whatever he said that made you start living with him was his proposal.
19. My daughter, your generation does not see any pride in being a virgin before marriage, it’s a shame! Your father met me a virgin and he brought more yams to my parents and up till today, he’s still proud of me when we discuss in that direction.
20. My daughter, I know that no man out there is complete, but when you are looking for your tall, slim, fair and handsome, if he’s a woman-beater, please, go for the short, fat, dark and ugly that will give you the respect you deserve as a woman.
21. My daughter, know, learn and respect the culture and lifestyle of whoever you chose to marry . In some part of Africa, you knee down to greet your man’s parents while in some part outside Africa; you can even call them by their first name and ask for a handshake.
It’s the duty of a good mother to prepare her daughter for marriage. And I think these 21 teachings can help guide our daughters who are ready for marriage.
(Collected)
