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*THIS CHRISMAS AND NEW YEAR SPEAK YOUR SPOUSE’S LOVE LANGUAGE | Tricks Called: Talkspace Marriage Counseling

*Contrary to popular opinion, money is not only the love language of women*. And physical touch alone is not the only love language of men.

This Christmas, there are different ways of expressing and receiving love in a marriage relationship which strengthen your bond, plus how they can benefit in your marriage.

In a marriage relationship, if your spouse emotional needs are not met, you wouldn’t get the best of him/her. Because unmet emotional needs tends to create frictions in marriage.

That is why it’s important you learn the *Love language of Your Spouse this Christmas and New Year Season*. And communicate it effectively.

Psychologist said there are *Five love languages*. They are;

*1. Words of Affirmations*

*2. Quality Time*

*3. Receiving Gifts*

*4. Acts of Service*

*5. Physical Touches*

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1. Words of Affirmation:

This love language involves expressing love through verbal compliments, appreciation, and words of encouragement to your spouse. If your partner’s love language is Words of Affirmation, make sure to regularly express your love and appreciation through words. This will make them feel loved.

2. Quality Time:

This love language is all about giving your partner undivided attention and spending quality time together. If your partner’s love language is Quality Time, make sure to schedule regular date nights or activities where you can focus on each other without any distractions. Switch off phones, TVs, laptops and gadgets that takes your attention span.

3. Receiving Gifts:

This love language involves expressing love through thoughtful gifts and gestures. If your partner’s love language is Receiving Gifts, make sure to regularly surprise them with thoughtful gifts or gestures that show you were thinking of them. Receiving gifts can be in monetary or nonmonetary terms.

4. Acts of Service:

This love language is about expressing love through actions, such as doing chores or running errands for your partner. If your partner’s love language is Acts of Service, make sure to help them with tasks and show that you’re willing to take care of them. Acts of Service involves taking out the trash, giving helping hand at kitchen (cooking breakfast/dinner, doing the dishes), taking care of children, taking the car for a wash, or folding their laundry etc.

5. Physical Touch:

This love language involves expressing love through physical touch, such as hugs, kisses, and holding hands. If your partner’s love language is Physical Touch, make sure to regularly show affection through physical touch. It will make them feel loved.

Furthermore, by understanding your partner’s love language and making an effort to express your love in ways that resonate with them, you can strengthen your relationship and deepen your connection in your marriage. So, take the time to learn your partner’s love language, and start speaking it fluently!

Also, you must study your spouse well to know his/her love language and speak it on regular basis and not when you need sex from her or you want money from him.

For instance, if your spouse’s love language is *Quality Time* and you are not giving it to him/her because you are very busy on your job/business, and he/she starts getting a man/woman that is giving him/her attention, the person may end up getting his/her heart, especially if he/she is not regenerated.

For instance, my wife love language apart from receiving gifts is acts of service; spending some times with her in the kitchen sometimes. Because truth be told, being a wife is multi-tasking.

And she has inturn master my love language too. And she gives it to me too. Lately she sew a pair of *Turkish suit prototype* for me for this Christmas. You need to see how beautiful it is. I tell you, with her sacrificial giving, she has done many things that has blown my mind away this Christmas. And I trying everything within my power to replicate such as the Lord enables me.

And when it comes to surprising your partner especially if his/her love language is receiving gifts, nothing is too big or small to give. For instance, I once had an assignment in Lagos sometimes ago, and when coming back, *I bought about three sets of pants for my wife*.

I just bought it our of being caring and not because I wanted anything from her. But I tell you, it was as if I bought the world for her. Not because she doesn’t have plenty of it . Of course she has plenty pants. But doing that made her feel loved by me.

And for men whose love language is physical touches, you must master how make your environment conducive for such.

For instance, *men you that want sex from your wives in the night, start from meeting her love language in the morning and throughout the day*.

I tell you when her emotional tank is full, you will give you much love.

While you are away, send her quality text messages, make quality phone calls and mesmerize her during the day.

And when you are coming back at night, buy her sharwama/suya.I tell you *she will open the portal for you* , it will not be a struggle. And the icing on the cake is, you give a *surprise alert*, there will be no go slow .

So my advice is, just know your spouse love language and you will enjoy your marriage.

Especially this Christmas and new year season, surprise your spouse. Buy them gifts, take them out, go for movies/shopping etc.

Let them see they mean the world to you and that you love and appreciate them as a partner and not just as a sex/bed mate or an end user. Let them see that you really care and appreciate them for their sacrifices and all they did for you throughout the year 2023.

(Collected)

Wahid Khan

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