Gentlemen, this is what you need to know about what a good woman needs in a relationship.
HOW TO MAKE A WOMAN FEEL SECURE IN A RELATIONSHIP
I think we all know that men and women in general have a large degree of difference in how their brains process and store information. Women (or feminine energy individuals) can process data from both the left and right lobes of the brain simultaneously. The right lobe of the brain is feeling, non-verbal, receptive, creative, and sensuous which means that women can merge feelings with thoughts much more easily. Men (or masculine energy) individuals will mostly process data from the left lobe of the brain first. The left lobe is logical, action-orientated, and problem-solving. This creates differences in the emotional needs of men and women and as a result, most people will not instinctively know how to support their partner.
1. Caring/Safety
A woman needs her partner to show concern for her general well-being and an interest in her feelings. This is due to a combination of biological and cultural conditioning, that supports the nurturing role women will often take. To show caring is not reflective of how much money a partner is willing to spend. Rather it can be demonstrated by checking in with her regularly to see how she is doing, checking she got home safely, considerate planning, asking interested questions, etc. Personally, the guys I have been the most interested in are the ones who have waited with me at the bus stop right until my bus came, the guy who walked 15 minutes in the opposite direction to escort me to the tube station, and the guy who always messaged me after a date to check I got home okay. It is some interesting views as to why this is a key need for many women in Why Strong, Independent Women Just Want to Be Taken Care of.
2. Understanding
A woman needs to feel that her partner understands her. The easiest way to demonstrate understanding is to be able to listen to what she is saying without making a judgment or getting angry. Being able to show empathy, and listening without offering solutions or advice will make her feel heard. Be fully present by listening without being distracted by a phone, the TV, the computer, etc. If you don’t fully understand her point of view, explain this to her, don’t be afraid to ask more questions, and paraphrase what you do understand to check if you are on the right track.
3. Respect
It’s often thought that respect is something that mainly men value in a relationship. However, respect is a primary emotional need for women too. When a partner responds to a woman in a way that acknowledges and prioritizes her rights, wishes, and needs, she feels respected. This is a partner acting in ways that take into consideration her thoughts and feelings. For example not talking down to her, demeaning her, flirting with other women, and criticizing or ignoring her, are all ways to make her feel respected.
4. Devotion/To be Cherished
A woman needs to feel like she is a priority and fully supported. She does not want to feel like a second priority behind work, hobbies, and other interests. If she feels like a second priority she will not feel valued and will start building emotional walls. However, this does not mean to lose yourself in a relationship. For example, if you need to stay late at work more often to complete an important project, take this into account and plan a special date or time to spend with her. Setting aside quality time to spend with her will make her feel cherished, rather than just wanting to spend time with her when you have nothing better to do.
5. Validation
Validation can be shown by not arguing with how a woman feels, or objecting to those feelings. Try to remember that you are not responsible for how she feels but you can contribute to her happiness. This does not mean that you have to agree with all her feelings but rather that you can validate her reality by accepting how she feels.
6. Reassurance/ Affirmation
Reassurance can be demonstrated by consistently showing up in the relationship and meeting her emotional needs regularly. Generally, a woman’s brain is more emotionally centered therefore she will spend more time analyzing and assessing her relationships. Verbal reassurance from a partner that the relationship is on track helps increase her sense of security. If a woman has an anxious attachment style then she will need more verbal reassurance, particularly after a period of less contact or an argument. Verbal affirmation is letting her know that you value her worth and she does not need to prove herself to you. Simple things like telling her that she is more than enough for you, the things you love about her personality, or complimenting her on how she looks.
When both partners are focused on meeting each other’s differing emotional needs the relationship will be equally satisfying.
(Collected)
